SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET -- QUOTES
Sweeney Todd: Alright! You, sir? How about a shave? Come and visit your good friend Sweeney! You sir! Too, sir. Welcome to the grave... I will have vengeance. I will have salvation... Who, sir? You sir! No one's in the chair. Come on, come on! Sweeney's waiting. I want you bleeders. You sir? Anybody? Gentlemen, now don't be shy. Not one man... No, nor ten men... Nor a hundred can assuage me. I will have you! And I will get him back even as he gloats; In the meantime I'll practice on less honorable throats... And my Lucy lies in ashes, and I'll never see my girl again. But the work waits! I'm alive at last, and I'm full of joy!
Sweeney Todd: Noooooo! Would no one have mercy on her?
Mrs. Lovett: So it's you. Benjamin Barker
Sweeney Todd: Where's Lucy? Where's my wife?
Mrs. Lovett: She poisoned herself, arsenic from the apothecary round the
corner, I tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen to me, and he's got your
daughter.
Sweeney Todd: He? Judge Turpin?
Mrs. Lovett: [nods]
Sweeney Todd: 15 years sweating, and living hell, for a false charge. 15
years dreaming I might come home to a wife and child.
Mrs. Lovett: Well, I can't say the years have been particularly kind to
you, Mr. Barker.
Sweeney Todd: No, not Barker. That man is dead. It's Todd now. Sweeney
Todd... and he will have his revenge.
Mrs. Lovett: That lad is drinking me out o' house an' home.
Judge Turpin: Oh yes... such practices. The Geishas of Japan, the
concubines of Siam, the catamites of Greece, the harlots of India. I have them
all here, drawings of them. Everything you've ever dreamed of doing with a
woman. Would you like to see?
Anthony Hope: I think there's been some mistake.
Judge Turpin: I think not. You gandered at my ward, Johanna. You gandered
at her. YES, sir, you gandered!
Anthony Hope: I meant no harm.
Judge Turpin: Your meaning is immaterial. Mark me! If I see your face
again on this street, you'll rue the day you were born.
Mrs. Lovett: Mr. T, you didn't!
[looks into the chest, sees Pirelli's dead body and gasps. Shuts it.]
Mrs. Lovett: You're barking mad! Killing a man what done ya no harm!
Sweeney Todd: [polishing his razor] He recognized me from the old
days. Tried to blackmail me. Half me earnings.
Mrs. Lovett: [relieved] Oh, well that's a different matter then.
For a moment there I thought you lost your marbles.
[opens the chest again and stares]
Mrs. Lovett: Ugh! All that blood. Poor bugger. Oh well!
[looks through Pirelli's jacket before removing his money pouch and examining
its contents]
Mrs. Lovett: Well, waste not, want not!
Beggar Woman: [singing, to Sweeney] 'ey, don't I know you, mister?
Judge Turpin: You're in a merry mood today, Mr. Todd.
Johanna: I've never had dreams, only nightmares.
Sweeney Todd: [to Mrs. Lovett while looking at his razor] The Judge! When will we get to him?
Sweeney Todd: [spoken under his breath] There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled of shit, and the vermin of the world inhabit it...
Anthony Hope: Is everything alright Mister Todd?
Sweeney Todd: My mind is far from easy, in these once familiar streets I
feel shadows... everywhere...
Anthony Hope: Shadows?
Sweeney Todd: ...Ghosts.
Sweeney Todd: And who is it to be said is your intended, sir?
Judge Turpin: My ward... and pretty as a rosebud.
Sweeney Todd: Pretty as her mother?
Judge Turpin: [confused] Wha... what was that?
Sweeney Todd: Nothing. Nothing, sir. May we proceed?
Sweeney Todd: And I will get him back even as he gloats in the mean time I'll practice on less honorable throats, and my Lucy lies in ashes and I'll never see my girl again!
Signor Adolfo Pirelli: Mr. Todd?
Sweeney Todd: Signor Pirelli.
Signor Adolfo Pirelli: [reverting to a Cockney accent] Call me
Davy. Davy Connor's the name when it isn't professional.
Sweeney Todd: The history of the world, my pet...
Mrs. Lovett: Oh, Mr. Todd! Oh, Mr. Todd! Leave it to me!
Sweeney Todd: Is learn forgiveness and try to forget!
Mrs. Lovett: By the sea, Mr. Todd we'll be comfy-cozy / By the sea, Mr.
Todd, where there's no one nosy!
Sweeney Todd: And life is for the alive, my dear / So let's keep living
it
Mrs. Lovett: [both] Just keep living it! Really living it - !
Judge Turpin: How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit.
Sweeney Todd: With fellow tastes... in women at least.
Judge Turpin: [unsettled] What's that?
Sweeney Todd: The years, no doubt, have changed me, sir. But then I
suppose the face of a barber, the face of a prisoner in the dock, is not
particularly memorable.
Judge Turpin: [with immense shock] Benjamin... Barker...
Sweeney Todd: [shouts] Benjamin Barker!
Mrs. Lovett: Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker.
Sweeney Todd: What was his crime?
Mrs. Lovett: Foolishness.
Sweeney Todd: You have a room over the shop, don't you? If times are so
hard, why don't you rent it out?
Mrs. Lovett: People think it's haunted.
Sweeney Todd: Haunted?
Mrs. Lovett: Yeah. And who's to say they're wrong? You see, years ago,
something happened up there. Something not very nice.
Johanna: [after Turpin discovers her packing] Sir, a gentleman
knocks before entering a ladies room.
Judge Turpin: Indeed, that's true, but I see no lady.
Johanna: If I cannot fly, let me sing...
Mrs. Lovett: [placing a small pie on the counter] Here we are. Hot
out of the oven.
Sweeney Todd: What is THAT?
Mrs. Lovett: [sings] It's priest. Have a little priest...
Sweeney Todd: [sings] Is it really good?
Mrs. Lovett: [sings] Sir, it's too good, at least. Then again,
they don't commit sins of the flesh... so it's pretty fresh.
Sweeney Todd: [singing about razors] These are my friends. See how they glisten.
Sweeney Todd: I do. I'm Mr. Sweeney Todd from Fleet Street. I have opened a bottle of Pirelli's Elixir and I say to you, it is nothing but an arrant fraud, concocted from piss and ink. Furthermore, Signor, I have serviced no kings, yet I wager that I can shave a cheek with ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank.
Beggar Woman: [singing about Todd and Mrs. Lovett's incinerator] Smoke! Smoke! Sign of the devil! Sign of the devil! City on fire!
Sweeney Todd: [singing] For what's the sound of the world out
there?
Mrs. Lovett: What, Mr. Todd? What, Mr. Todd? What is that sound?
Sweeney Todd: Those crunching noises pervading the air!
Mrs. Lovett: Yes, Mr. Todd! Yes, Mr. Todd! Yes, all around!
Sweeney Todd: It's man devouring man, my dear!
Mrs. Lovett, Sweeney Todd: Then who are we to deny it in here?
Sweeney Todd: What can I do for you today sir? Stylish trimming of the
hair? Soothing skin massage. Sit sir. Sit.
Judge Turpin: [singing] You see sir a man infatuated with love.
Her ardent and eager slave. So fetch the pomade and pumice stone and lend me a
more seductive tone a sprinkling perhaps of French cologne but first sir I
think... a shave.
Sweeney Todd: The closest I ever gave.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] Have charity towards the world my pet.
We'll take the customers that we can get. We'll not discriminate great from
small...
Sweeney Todd, Mrs. Lovett: No, we'll serve anyone, meaning anyone, and to
anyone at all!
Sweeney Todd: [ominously] These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett and desperate measures are called for...
Mrs. Lovett: We could have a life we two, maybe not like you remember. Maybe not like I imagined. But we could get by.
Sweeney Todd: How about a shave?
Mrs. Lovett: You're barking mad.
Sweeney Todd: The years, no doubt, have changed me.
Sweeney Todd: I can guarantee the closest shave you'll ever know.
Signor Adolfo Pirelli: [to Sweeney] May the good Lord smile on you.
Judge Turpin: [as he sentences boy prisoner] May the Lord have mercy on your soul.
Sweeney Todd: [holding up one of his razors] At last! My arm is complete again!
Narrator: This is the tale of an ordinary man, who had everything...
Mrs. Lovett: Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker.
Narrator: Until a man of power stole his freedom, destroyed his family
and banished him... for life. And in his sorrow a new man was born.
