CRY-BABY -- QUOTES
Wanda's mother: Let's all put on a folk hat and learn something about a foreign culture!
The Judge: By the way, that's a shame about your face.
Hatchet-Face: There's nothing the matter with my face. I got character!
Allison: It's really wild, but I'm afraid that I'm not gonna fit in here.
You know, with your friends, and stuff.
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: You're cool, Allison. You just look square.
Underneath it all, I think you're really hep.
Hatchet-Face: Well, what have we here?
Wanda: First square to ever set foot in Turkey Point.
Pepper: Hey fine mama, welcome to the Jukebox Jamboree!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: These are the Cry-Baby girls. That's Wanda.
Wanda: Dig it babe, you need a new look!
Hatchet-Face: Don't you got tits? Stick 'em out, for God's sake!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: That's Hatchet-face. She don't mean no harm.
Pepper: The first thing a Cry-baby girl learns: our bazooms are our
weapons!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Now, Pepper's pregnant, but she can fight like a
man!
Wanda: I wouldn't be caught dead in a full skirt.
Pepper: Hey girls, what do you think? Let's give Allison here a bad girl
beauty makeover. You game?
Allison: Sure! Think I got what it takes?
Hatchet-Face, Wanda, Pepper: Whoa ho ho!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: You got it, Allison. You got it raw!
[Allison stops Cry-Baby from fondling her]
Allison: I want to, but I can't, for my parent's sake. They're both dead,
Cry-Baby, I'm an orphan!
Cry-Baby: Oh, I'm sorry, Allison. But no wonder we're together. I'm an
orphan, too.
Allison: You are?
Cry-Baby: Yes! And orphans have special needs.
Allison: Well, okay, but outside the shirt this time.
Allison: I'm so tired of being good.
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: I may be a drape, but I love your granddaughter. And if that's a crime, I'll stand convicted, ma'am.
Wanda: Think Cry-Baby's got blue balls for the chick?
Hatchet Face: Allison's a square, Wanda. Cry-Baby don't dig squares.
Pepper: No, she's a scrape - part square, part drape. I think she's
pretty.
Baldwin: I'm Baldwin and these are the Whiffles. And we're PROUD to be square!
Cry-Baby: That's right, Allison. My father was the "Alphabet Bomber." He
may have been crazy be he was my pop. Only one I ever had.
Allison: God... I heard about the Alphabet Bomber. Bombs exploding in
the... in the airport... and barber shop...
Cry-Baby: That's right. All in alphabetical order. Car wash... drug
store... I used to lay in my crib and hear him scream in his sleep..."A,B,C,D,E,F,G...
BOOM! BOOM!"
Allison: But your mom...
Cry-Baby: My mother tried to stop him. She couldn't even spell, for
Christ's sake but they fried her too.
Uncle Belvedere Rickettes: Woo-Wee, you caught me in my birthday suit! Buck naked!
Mrs. Vernon-Williams: Heavy hangs the head, that last night wore the crown.
Milton Hackett: Looks like someone lost their laundry.
Lenora Frigid: Hello Cry-Baby. You've scorched
me, man.
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Later, Lenora.
Lenora Frigid: But Cry-baby, I need a date for
tonight's Jukebox Jamboree.
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Well, I'm solo, sugar.
Lenora Frigid: [offering to show her breasts]
Wanna see these gunboats? I give, Cry-baby. I give bare second on the first
date.
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Use your mentality! Cool down!
Wanda: Yeah Lenora, your bosoms ain't nothin'!
Hatchet-Face: Better watch it, bozo! You might catch a cold!
Pepper: My brother wouldn't touch your titties with a ten-foot pole. He
likes his women bad, Lenora, not cheap!
Lenora Frigid: I had my baby. Isn't he cute? I'm a
square now.
[to baby doll]
Lenora Frigid: Wave to Allison!
Mrs. Vernon-Williams: You may be a square, Lenora, but
you're still a tramp!
Baldwin: You think you're a big man, Cry-baby, but you're lower than your dead
father! And guess who pulled the switch on that jerk? My grandpappy, that's who!
And every Christmas since, my whole family gathers together and he retells the
story of the day he electrocuted your daddy, and we just laugh!
Hatchet Face: Let me punch his ugly face!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: It's okay, Hatchet. You're beautiful, baby. But I'll
take care of this maggot! Do you know how to play the automobile game called
Chicken?
Baldwin: Sure! My car and your jalopy! We head toward one other at full speed.
First one who turns the wheel before we smash is a chicken!
The Judge: Is that legal?
Mrs. Vernon-Williams: Stop this insanity!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: I got some new rules, sucker! How about you and me on
top of the car?
Baldwin: [hesitates] I'm man enough, you big cry baby!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: That's "Mr. Baby" to you! Fellas of the press, this
chicken race tonight is for my daddy. And I'd like to sing something in his
memory. Something hill-billy... something colored!
Baldwin: [screams]
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Something my daddy would have loved!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Allison, I'm sorry to get you locked up! But tonight,
well, you were the coolest date I ever had!
Allison: But Cry-baby, who was that girl? Why didn't you tell me you already had
a lady friend?
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: That Lenora ain't nothing to me! I swear on my daddy's
grave! I'm burning inside to touch you, baby!
Allison: What's the matter, Cry-baby?
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Everything's the matter!
Allison: It's just the thunderstorm. Heat, lightening. It's sexy.
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: It's not sexy! Electricity makes me insane!
Ramona Rickettes: Cry-baby, when you was a boy, you had to be the man of
this family.
Uncle Belvedere Rickettes: But I taught you how to dress, didn't I
Cry-baby?
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Sure did, Uncle Belvedere.
Ramona Rickettes: Yeah well, you're the future now, boy. You're the only
future for this god-forsaken family. I want you to go out there tonight and
sing, boy. I want you to sing your heart out! You can show him now, Belvedere.
[Belvedere walks off to reveal Cry-baby's gift]
Ramona Rickettes: This took a lot of hubcaps, Cry-baby.
[it's a motorcycle]
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Grandmother, Uncle Belvedere, you've made me the
happiest juvenile delinquent in Baltimore! And guess what? I met a girl!
Wanda's Father: Hi, Wanda honey.
Wanda's mother: You were on the radio.
Wanda: Would you just get me the fuck out of here?
Wanda's mother: What's "fuck" mean, Hector?
Wanda's Father: Oh, Maggie, it's just a teen nonsense word Wanda uses to
make herself feel all grown-up.
Wanda's mother: Your Honor, could we take Wanda the fuck home?
The Judge: The only place you will be singing is in jail.
Hateful Guard at Maryland Training School for Boys: What's that on your
face blubber boy? A booger?
Cry-Baby: Are you blind its a lonely tear drop!
Hateful Guard at Maryland Training School for Boys: Aww ain't that cute?
It will look real nice with your new haircut.
Cry-Baby: I ain't gettin' no haircut!
Susie Q: Ma, I swiped six hubcaps like a big girl!
Pepper: Don't go flip out mamma!
Hatchet-Face: Yeah! Sometimes shook up old ladies...
[licks knife]
Hatchet-Face: GET CUT!
Mrs. Vernon-Williams: Juvenile delinquents are everywhere. Right here in this community. Boys with long hair and tattoos who spit on the sidewalk. Girls who wear tight slacks. Hysterectomy pants, I call them.
Cry-Baby: Kiss Me! Kiss me hard.
Allison: I've never given a French kiss before.
Cry-Baby: Watch, its easy. You just open your mouth, and I open mine, and
we wiggle our tongues together. And it feels real sexy.
Allison: I won't get mononucleosis, will I?
Wanda: You wanna learn about America, Inga? In America, we like boys! We
like hot boys! Boys with roaming hands and rushing fingers!
Wanda's mother: Wanda honey, want some Ovaltine?
Inga: Ja, ja, ja!
Wanda: Yeah, I'm just a bebop baby, and I don't take nothing from no one!
See ya later, daddy-os. Have a cool Yule and a frantic First!
Lenora Frigid: [to the reporters] Boy, do I have a story for you!
Reporter: How does it feel to be a juvenile delinquent?
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: It feels good, man! I've never been so happy in
my life!
[Lenora runs up and throws her arms around Cry-baby right before he's taken
away]
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Lenora, you filthy hag! I wouldn't let you shine
my boots! Allison's my girl! A-L-L-I-S-O-N fellas!
Reporter: When did he propose?
Lenora Frigid: Just last night. You see, I'm pregnant with his child.
Well, you know that Cry-baby is an orphan. He wants his baby to have a real
family... the family that he himself never had.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams: Baldwin, please be a gentleman and call off this
race. It's too dangerous!
Baldwin: Mrs. Vernon-Williams, you were born a square and you're gonna
die a square. You're coming with me!
Toe-Joe Jackson: [after finishing his basement photo shoot]
Stinky, Goosepimples, grab the models and strip 'em down. Something a little new
today, boys and giggles. We're going all the way!
Lenora Frigid: I'll just close my eyes and think of Cry-baby.
[to one of the male models]
Lenora Frigid: You first, rough stuff.
Wanda: What? You mean, the dirty deed? Hey look, I'm all talk and no
action! I've never really done it! I swear I'm a virgin! Just ask my parents! My
parents will tell you! They will!
Ramona Rickettes: I'm just so proud of all my drape children! Oh Wanda,
you sure is pretty in them tight clothes, all painted up like trash!
Wanda: I wish you and Belvedere were my parents.
Ramona Rickettes: Now Milton, boy, you are everything a man should be:
you're young, stupid, and... mean!
Milton Hackett: We're gonna play some cool music for you tonight, Ramona.
Ramona Rickettes: And Hatchet-face, oh honey! You're just like me. Now,
you put the T in tough! So hard you could've been eating nails for breakfast!
But that's the way a woman's got to be these days.
Hatchet-Face: I'd kick a square's ass for you in a minute, Mrs. Rickettes!
Ramona Rickettes: Oh, this is the best gang my grandson could ever have!
Wanda's Father: God's in her gullet. And he's in yours, too!
Hatchet's Mother: I pay taxes on cigarettes, don't I? And what do I get for those taxes? Happiness? *Hell* no! I get tuberculosis!
Baldwin: Honey, his kind of music isn't even on the Hit Parade!
Mrs. Vernon-Williams: 'Well,' not 'good.' Haven't you *ever* heard of the English language?
Milton's Father: Let Jesus Christ be your gang-leader!
Allison: Oh, Crybaby, your fingers feel so good!
Allison: Mommy and daddy took separate planes for safety, you know, in case one plane crashed, I'd still have a living parent.
